Knob Swab™ – The Pinnacle of Refinement
Always discreet—from beginning to happy ending!
Classic Edition
The original dual-action wipe that redefined self-care. Featuring a premium lube-coated side for a smooth, refined experience.
The other side is infused with a gentle but effective cleanser that eliminates all evidence of hard work, cutting through stubborn residue, shame, and regret.
Comes in discreet gold-foil packets or an elegant bedside dispenser for the refined gentleman.
Blue Collar Edition
For the man who works hard and plays harder. Features WD-40 infused lubrication and a shop-grade degreaser tough enough to handle your engine or your gear shift.
Comes in rugged, individually wrapped packs that fit perfectly in your toolbox or glove compartment.
The Aristocrat’s Reserve
Only the finest. Hand-pressed oils, cashmere-soft texture, and an exclusive blend of lavender and caviar extract. For the man who demands indulgence with every swipe.
Presented in a handcrafted mahogany box, featuring a monogrammed brass latch and a lingering essence of old money.
Tactical Ops Edition
Designed for special operations. Includes camouflage packaging, military-grade grip texture, and a scent-neutralizing formula. Zero shame. Zero evidence. Zero hesitation.
Packaged in a water-resistant pouch with a belt clip for quick deployment.
Apocalypse Proof
For the prepper who plans ahead. Built to last, infused with radiation-blocking technology, a built-in flint striker, and triple-ply durability. Because the end of the world shouldn’t mean the end of self-respect.
Comes in a vacuum-sealed container with a 50-year shelf life.
Distinguished Gentleman’s Edition
For the refined man who has seen it all. Features a low-friction, hypoallergenic formula for delicate skin, paired with an extra-gentle cleansing cloth infused with chamomile and nostalgia.
Now featuring our patented scent profiles, formulated to awaken dormant desires and make your blood simmer like a scandalous rendezvous in a Parisian parlor.
Comes in a classic leather-bound dispenser—monocle wipe included.